The Art of Talking (Day 18)

Well today is going to seem like a small one to most people but if you know me well then you know I'm horrible when it comes to talking on the phone. They say communication is 80% non verbal and the way I communicate fits that mold. I need to see someones face to know what they are truly saying. One example being silence. Silence over the phone, in my head, means someone's angry when it really could just mean they're thinking. Facial features play such a big role in how I react. If I don't hear enough tonal reflections then I clam up and don't talk. I get nervous and that's the end of the conversation. It doesn't matter who I'm talking to either, whether it be my mom or a customer service agent. I dread long conversations on the phone. Also, the moment someone says hello I forget everything I was going to say. I could have slews to talk about, many moments I wanted to share, but then they're gone in a flash. I have to force myself to come up with topics and that makes me feel uncomfortable so then I freeze up and really can't think of anything to say. It's really quite sad. I would avoid having a phone at all if it wasn't such a necessity now.

The best way for me to actually have a conversation and grow is face to face communication. Then I can see the slight expressions and know what's up. That was why I was so concerned for my interview tomorrow for a possible internship. They wanted a phone interview. I was confident about my interview until they changed it to over the phone. It was supposed to be over skype. Skype I can do, that's easy. Phone, not so much. I honestly was having a tiny panic attack. I didn't know how I was going to keep the conversation moving. I didn't know how to act, what to say. I was wishing it away. But God heard those cries and after checking my email I received one from the company asking if I would like to Skype. What? Of course! Now I can be myself! Now I'll know what to say! I can read their expressions and know if I'm talking too much or not enough. This I can do. This I'm capable of. I thank God for changing their decision which has now given me the confidence I'll need to complete this task.