Encouragement (Day 114/115/116)

Tuesday: People on here know how I've been down about my internship. Well, on Tuesday I was talking to another employee who used to be an intern for the company and she started talking about all the things she had to do while interning. I told her my latest task of untangling wires and how I was afraid it was because my boss didn't see me as a talented designer. She laughed and told me that was just being an intern. What she didn't know was that those few words meant so much to me. It wasn't because I couldn't design. It was just the way of life. Not that I really want life to be like this, but it's much better than not being trusted with actual work. It made it easier to do the tasks given to me after that.

Wednesday: Another thing people know is that I've had a hard time wondering why I'm here, Tulsa that is. I know most of it is because I'm at a very pivotal point in my life and I'm worried about making the wrong decision. I'm worried that this is where I want to be but God doesn't and I don't want to disobey Him. Well, I was having a heart to heart with one of my closest, Ashley, and I was really upset. She stopped me, mid sentence, and said, "Katherine, I don't think you realize how important you are here, to this group. You are one of the only girl influencers here. This place needs you." The truth is I don't see that. I don't consider myself one of the important ones, one of the ones who can sway people in their thoughts, actions, or whatever else. I've never thought of myself in that way. To be told that, that I was just more than a number, that I actually helped people, was indescribable. I honestly can't tell you how that made me feel. And I want to also include that I'm not trying to take that glory for myself. I don't want people to ever think that. But what she said really gave me the confidence to be that influencer and not need the recognition for it. I can be that way to help people in need and to bring people closer to Christ. It's sort of the thing I've always wanted to be. Who knew I already was it.

Thursday: Another really good day. I actually did only design work today! And a lot of it I might include. I completed three book covers, two book jackets, and was given a project for some website banners that I'll start tomorrow. My boss came over to give me the rundown for the website and told me that for the next two weeks I would only have to worry about that. And then he included that, and I quote, "with the way you're going, you'll probably finish these in a day." Do you know how great that feels?! To only be an intern and to be considered productive and quick? Well, I'll tell you, it isn't a bad feeling. Interns are supposed to be the ones who are constantly messing up. I'm not saying I'm getting it right the first time, because I'm not, but I'm quick enough where I'm able to learn from my mistakes and correct them before due dates. And for that to come from the owner of the company was very important to me. It gave me more faith that I'm talented.

And these are other words of encouragement I've heard this week. These are just things I need to write down so I can come back later and read them when I'm not on such a high.

• I love your servant heart!
• Give yourself grace. You deserve that.
• Oh, I could tell you were very smart right when you started talking.
• I'm very excited you're taking on this project with us.
• You are a true creative.
• Thank you for what you shared today.
• You don't know how special you are.

So much encouragement, so much love. How can I be blessed more than this?