Most children learn to read in kindergarden. Not this one. They didn't know I couldn't read until I took a reading test in second grade. The reason I was able to keep it hidden for so long was because I had the comprehension level of a senior in high school. My teacher would read a book and I would remember it word for word. I would even remember when to flip the page. Now, I didn't do this because I wanted to try to keep my illiteracy a secret. I just thought that was what reading was.
In the second grade I was going to one of the best schools in the state of Texas. The only problem was this school didn't cater to children with learning disabilities. A learning disability was a fault. It was something to be ashamed of. Try telling that to a seven year old. In my second grade class we had a track that went around the walls of my classroom and on that track everyone had a car with their name on it. When you scored well enough on a spelling test you got to move your car and when you made it to the finish line you received a prize. Try being the only kid who's car didn't move.
I switched schools in the third grade and was tested positive for dyslexia, but things didn't really get much better. I learned to read but only because I had to be called out of class so I could go to a special english class. I remember really enjoying it but feeling really embarrassed at having to leave every day. I knew the other students wondered where I went.
I was in that special class until I was in sixth grade. By then I didn't believe I was good at reading or spelling. I didn't see the point. I hated be called to read during class. If I could pick out the paragraph I knew I would have to read I would go over it multiple times so I could read it as fast as the other students. I could remember everything that was read, I just couldn't form the letters into words.
In my junior and senior year of high school I took the ACT and scored a perfect score on the grammar and comprehension sections, but my total scores weren't that good because I couldn't read fast enough to get to all of the questions in the other sections. My whole life I thought I was dumb, I thought I couldn't be anything. I thought all I had were my looks and personality. And then I found art, and more specific, graphic design.
I still can't spell and I still can't read as fast as other students, but you give me a person who wants something designed, who has a problem and needs a solution, and I can do that. See my brain works differently. I think conceptually. I have all my life, I just didn't know how to use it. My dad always said I was a round peg and people were trying to fit me into a square hole. There's nothing wrong with round pegs, they just think differently. I finally found that "hole". I thank God for bringing me to it. I'm a good designer. I'm going to straight up admit it. I know how to problem solve, to go from point A to point B. I can take your ideas in your head, make them even better, and then bring them to life with color and type and texture and shape and so much more. I know what different looks feel like, what the mind perceives them to be. All my life I was trying to fit myself in a square hole and all my life I thought I wouldn't amount to anything.
There's a quote from Albert Einstein, who happened to also be dyslexic, where he states, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing it is stupid." I don't hate the first school I attended for thinking of me as someone who would bring their test scores down. I've overcome that. I've found what I'm good at and it's a lot more rewarding than being able to read 300 words per minute. I actually thank God for this disability. Without it I wouldn't be as hard a worker and I wouldn't be able to think the way I do. Because of this I get to think about how all the aspects of design come together to convey an emotion, an emotion that moves people, moves people to act. Because of the way I think I can make change in this world, and that's exactly what I'm planning on doing.
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