The Psalm Coming From Me (Day 29)

Most won't understand this. It's too personal. But I want to write about it because this blessing made me throw back my head and praise my Father more than I have ever done in my life. I felt like a Psalm was coming from my lips. My heart, mouth, mind; they were all moved by joy and love. I wish I could just upload my feelings into this post so everyone could download them and feel what I felt, what I'm still feeling and hour later.

The whole day was a blessing. Starting off with church and lunch with my mom, then a six hour drive with an amazing friend, Jessica, and then a long talk about life with my brother. I gained a years worth of knowledge from talking with them. I learned from Jessica that when talking to an "unbeliever" the best game plan is to listen. Sharing faith doesn't always come from speaking. Most people are turned off by Christianity because it's been shoved down their throats. Many Christians can't sit back and hear someone talk against their religion without cutting them off and forcing their believes upon the other. We also talked about politics and religion, war and religion, our country and religion, and then some girl stuff. You can't have a six hour car ride without talking about a little girl stuff. :)

Then my brother called me and we talked about a lot. I feel bad because he called me to talk about his life and I took over the conversation. I'm sorry for doing that. My life still feels like it's a mess most of the time. God has shown me so much in these past six weeks and I've grown tremendously. I've learned that I'm worth a lot to Him and my worth can come from Him alone, I've learned He sometimes delays us where we are because He knows a storm's brewing ahead, I've learned that no matter what I'm doing, if I'm seeking Him, He's happy. Those are just a few of the secrets revealed to me in the last few weeks, and the last one I stated was tonight.

I have a fear of going against God's word. I want to follow Him wholeheartedly even if it means through the dark. But what if something I want isn't what He wants? Even if I feel reassured about things, I'm always afraid the assurance isn't coming from Him, but from my mind. It sends me into this yo-yo of emotions. Well, I talked to my brother about it and he stated it this way. "You are on the right path. If you're following God, you're doing it right. You're human and you have desires. As long as they aren't sinful then they can't be going against God." What reassuring words! And from a 19 year old freshman in college I might add.

So everything that happened today led up to this one moment. This one "mistake" I made at the end of the day. I always copy my Jesus Calling into my journal because it helps me remember it and it helps me look at it word by word. I always find something I didn't see the first time. Today I didn't get to copy it in the morning because I was running late. Long story short, I opened to the next day accidentally and read the first line... "You are on the right path." Umm, what? Excuse me? Wasn't that just what my brother had said, five minutes, maybe less, before. It was an exact quote. I want to copy that Jesus Calling into my blog. Like I said, no one but me will be moved this much, and after reading the passage it will explain that.

YOU ARE ONE THE RIGHT PATH.

Listen more to me, and less to your doubts.

I am leading you along the way I designed just for you.

Therefore, it is a lonely way, humanly speaking.

But I go before you as well as alongside you, so you are never alone.

Do not expect anyone to understand fully My ways with you, any more than you can comprehend My dealings with others.

I am revealing to you the path of Life day by day, moment by moment.

As I said to My disciple Peter, so I repeat to you:

Follow Me.

See, that's why you won't understand it as much as me. God set my path for only me to understand. You don't get why this is so important to me because you don't know what I've been going through and because my relationship with my Father is private. It's a personal relationship between two lovers and you can never be a part of it. I still wanted to share this blessing with you though because I want you to see Him working in my life. I hope you can get some reassurance from this, that He can do the same things for you as He's doing for me. Like I said, I felt a love stronger than any other in my life come from inside me. A psalm literally poured from my lips. "Can You be any more gracious to me?! You spoke to me! Right to me... Thank You, Thank You, Thank You... My heart sings to how amazing You are! How awesome, how wonderful You are... This is the true love I want to show You... You are so powerful but You make Yourself small to whisper Your love into my ear! You love a sinner like me!" Those are some of the words I wrote. That was how much I was moved and it was all because of an eight-lined passage from a book. It wrapped up everything for today though; the ribbon that sealed the gift of today.