Drive (Day 52)

It's been on my mind since the beginning of this year. Do I really enjoy design? I know I'm talented, but do I really enjoy it? My first thoughts were no. I didn't like it. Design is selfish, it's many intense hours, it's late nights, early mornings, loads of caffeine (which btw I don't like), it's demanding clients who don't believe I have the skills to design what will sell. And there's another story all in itself. My job is to sell a product. It's to make people believe they need something. It's what makes women, girl as well, believe they are fat. It's what makes men believe that having nice cars and suits will get them women. It's what makes society believe that premarital sex is the right thing to do. But for some reason God gave me this incredible talent.

Why would He give me this? Why give people the talent to corrupt our world even more? I was regretting picking this major. I was thinking I was going to be adding to the corruption. Then today, a woman from White County Children's Safety Center came and spoke to us in chapel. This month is Child Abuse Awareness month. Did you know that? Did you know that a report of child abuse is made every 10 seconds? She looked out into the audience and told us that in a room this size at least 50 of us had been abused at one time before the age of eighteen. Being a person with over 50 swimmers who I would claim in a heartbeat, I sort of lost it. I was able to stay composed but my heart was breaking. Those beautiful children, even the ones who misbehave and push my buttons, don't ever deserve something like that.

This is where my talents come in. Unfortunately, people enjoy looking at pretty things. Pretty things make people more interested and willing to spend money. If something looks presentable they trust it more. And if they trust it, they don't mind writing the check. I'm good at making things presentable. I'm good at creating that trust. Either, I can spend my life stepping on top of people so I can get the promotion, make the big bucks, and design waste; or I can use my talents to help, save, and increase the quality of life. I think I'll choose the latter. I'll take the pay cut. I'll take the not so lavish design work. Because more than anything I want to make someone else's life better. Mine is already good enough. I have a loving family, I have loving friends, I have support. What else do I need? Why not try to give those same things to the people who lack them? I think I can live without having a huge two story house with a three car garage to store my fancy cars and my walk-in closet full of the latest fashions and shoes. So I'll never be one of those designers that make six figures. I can live with that if I can change the lives of at least a few of those little children.