Trying Something New (Day 47)

I'm sorry, but my blessing today is too personal to explain to you today. I was hoping I would never do this to my audience but I really don't feel comfortable sharing the details of this one. I can tell you the blessing was I finally got to talk to a dear friend about personal information I was too afraid to bring up, and when I did I was met with a positive attitude; something I wasn't expecting.

But, even if I'm not comfortable sharing everything, I do want to share something I've come to realize. When I was sharing some of my prayers that had been answered, I felt awkward when saying how God had brought me my answers. Some were very mystical, one even coming from a dream. Why should I feel awkward sharing those? I guess I thought she would think I was crazy and wouldn't believe me. Or maybe she would try and cause more doubt that they weren't real answers. Then I started to think. My thoughts led me to realize that those feelings of awkwardness were Satan's words filtering in. He wanted me to feel that doubt so I wouldn't share my answered prayers and so I wouldn't feel like my prayers had actually been answered at all.

Don't Worry, I Didn't Quit (Day 43/44/45/46)

Remember when I said on Sunday I was getting better, well I wasn't. My mistake. I spent Monday re-watching all the movies I had the day before plus a few new ones. But it was nice; as nice as being sick can be.

On Tuesday it was back to the real world starting with an awesome aerobics class which actually made me sore. Then a successful painting critique. So far, so good. Next was work. I walking into the pool and was greeted with six new swimmers. I got a bit worried. But there was nothing to be worried about. All six, boys may I add, had quite a bit of talent so there was great improvement in the one practice. All the boys were outgoing and energetic but good listeners. It really made for a perfect combination.

Sick Day (Day 42)

I woke up this morning with my stomach in knots. I didn't know if it was something I ate last night or what but, when I stood up and almost passed out on my floor I knew exactly what was going on. When I traveled to Africa Summer 2010 I contracted malaria. Other than the week of exhaustion I consider a pretty awesome experience. I just consider myself someone who got the full experience. The only set back is the outbreaks that happen. Last year I had one that kept me down for a few days. With that one I thought I'd find myself in the hospital. I had a high fever, I couldn't even lift my head off my bed, but I had to so I could go throw up, and when I finally stopped throwing up I slept for a full fourteen hours without medication.

The Feeling of Success (Day 40/41)

Yesterday: This week I had the great privilege to teach children how to swim for charity. I was helping raise money for my church so they could buy a new and much needed bus and handicap van. The three children I taught were so precious. They rarely complained and were so willing to try new things. I will say it was extremely challenging teaching children how to swim on sort of a schedule. Most private lessons last at least five days and are an hour long. I had four days and thirty minutes. The most rewarding time of this week happened on the last ten minutes in my second lesson with a little girl named Marissa.

The Talk I've Been Praying For (Day 39)

In my attempt to live day by day I've asked God to give me opportunities to share His love and to be a servant to people. Not too long ago, the chapel speaker (I've blanked on his name) spoke about how he was once in the hospital and wasn't getting better. He kept on praying for healing. He was only thinking about his agenda. Then, a nurse who had no spiritual background came his way and he realized God was keeping in that hospital so he could show her God's love. Ever since that day I've realized that my agenda doesn't matter. I can only do with what God gives me on this day. There is no point in looking to future days. And if I'm going to live one day at a time then I might as well live each day to the very best. How better to live then by sharing Jesus with others?

Where's My Wallet? (Day 38)

It's a little early in the week to be making such a stupid mistake. I haven't gone grocery shopping since before spring break and I finally made it to Walmart today. I stocked up on about $75 worth of food and other items and after I was completely rung up I realized my wallet was no where in site! Oh the embarrassment! Thankfully I was with a trusted friend who told me she would pay for my high priced items. That saved me a second trip to a place I already dread going and the shame I would of felt for making someone restock all of my items.

Illiterate at Age Seven (Day 37)

I completely forgot to post something for today and this has been on my mind for awhile now.

Most children learn to read in kindergarden. Not this one. They didn't know I couldn't read until I took a reading test in second grade. The reason I was able to keep it hidden for so long was because I had the comprehension level of a senior in high school. My teacher would read a book and I would remember it word for word. I would even remember when to flip the page. Now, I didn't do this because I wanted to try to keep my illiteracy a secret. I just thought that was what reading was.

What's Important to You? (Day 35/36)

Wherever you are take a good look around. Take in the things you see, the objects and the people. Now what would make you more upset, losing the things or the friends? I've realized that most of my posts have been about people. They've been about a times I gotten to spend with the ones I love. Here and there I'll talk about an internship or a test but it's mostly about people. That's because people make my world. I love being around others. I love showing others how much I care. I love growing in relationship with others by spending time with them. But mostly I love the fun, enjoyment, and excitement I feel when I'm around others. That's why I'm three days behind on my blessings. It's not because I didn't have anything to write about. It's because I was too busy growing closer to friends.

Cheap Memories (Day 33/34)

On day 34 I was finally able to eat with an old friend, Tripp Radcliffe. He adopted me as his little sister around my freshman year and has stuck by my side ever since. In a few months many things will be changing for both of us since we will both be graduating. It was encouraging being able to swap knowledge and wisdom as we both talk about our prospective plans while trying to keep God in the center of our life. We both have exciting futures ahead of us with our careers but there are still many things uncertain and they can take a toll on our energy levels. It's friends like him that make me realize I'm really loved.

Lots of Little Things (Day 31/32)

Yesterday was a busy day. I was up at 7AM and didn't stop moving until 6PM. I had plans to get dinner with Liz and then the next thing we knew it was 10:30. Whoops, guess homework wasn't going to get done, or a blog post get written. Nothing extraordinary happened yesterday but it was filled with many small gifts. I numbered them off in my journal:

I Must Write It Down (Day 30)

I didn't want to write today. I was going over my day and I didn't have anything happen that was worth sharing. Maybe a little blessing here, and a little one there. But nothing that was awe inspiring. I became selfish and wanted something as precious as yesterdays. I thought to myself, "If nothing comes around that is as moving and lovely as the blessing I received yesterday I don't want to write, I don't want to thank." Can I be anymore of a brat? I'm rolling my eyes at myself; one because I said that, and two because I just admitted it to the world. But I want people to see the real me, the me that messes up, the me that fails her perfect, loving Father, and the me that is still learning and growing. Only then can I bring others closer to Christ.

The Psalm Coming From Me (Day 29)

Most won't understand this. It's too personal. But I want to write about it because this blessing made me throw back my head and praise my Father more than I have ever done in my life. I felt like a Psalm was coming from my lips. My heart, mouth, mind; they were all moved by joy and love. I wish I could just upload my feelings into this post so everyone could download them and feel what I felt, what I'm still feeling and hour later.

A Way to Get Back (Day 28)

Once again I had a lazy day. The last lazy day until May. Today I'm thankful for my dad who spent all day in the rain working on my truck. I'm so thankful he did that. On the way to Tulsa my car decided it didn't want to accelerate up hills. The car would shake and lose speed quickly. The service light came on and I was a bit worried getting stuck in Oklahoma. Thankfully I made it home and after looking at my spark plugs we realized it was way past time getting new ones. From early afternoon to late evening my dad was leaned over the hood while the rain poured down, only protected by a tarp hanging above. But now everything works like a charm and the hills on the way to Searcy won't become an unexpected rest stop. Once again I'm not writing much, I want to be able to spend this time with my parents instead of behind this screen. Starting next week I'll get back to the normal posts. There is something I read in Ezra that struck me and I want to share it.

For Those Boring Days (26/27)

Day 26/27 have been pretty slow. The rain and the cold have caused the later half of my spring break to be drag. I feel bad because I don't really feel like writing much. This is the first time I've had to really dig to be thankful for something. But then again, aren't those sometimes the best ways to tell our Father we are thankful? Those times when things aren't exciting and new, those times that seem mundane and boring? I believe so. I believe when we can still find things to be thankful for even when nothing exciting happens we are saying to our Father, "I'm still thankful for the life and the love You're giving me." And hey, my life isn't getting worse. That could be the case. So there's something to be thankful for in itself. But today, I'm actually going say thanks for a day with my parents. We really didn't do anything. My mom and I got out the calendar and talked about the best time for one of our last family vacations, my dad and mom took me to look at bikes for when I graduate, we went to a pretty awesome catfish place, and then lounged around and watched tv. It might not be the "best day", it might not seem that exciting, but I won't get this for much longer. When else in my life will I get a spring break? Let me give you a hint, never. So, I will be thankful for this time with them... even if we're watching Jimmy Kimmel Live and Steven Tyler is on and I find him vulgar, I'm with my parents so I'm happy. Oh and Kameron, I know you'll read this. I wish you were here with us right now.

So Far Behind! (Day 23/24/25)

I'm must apologize to my faithful readers. It's my spring break so I'm not as attached to my computer. I'll get to that later though.

A Different Group (Day 22)

I did the whole planning thing again. I thought up in my head how great this weekend was going to be. I would be spending time with friends and Park Plaza. Well, I found out this weekend all of those friends would actually be taking a trip to Dallas and not be getting back until late Sunday. I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know anybody here. What class would I go to at church. I know, these things might sound petty to some, but I just didn't expect it to go this way. See, that word expect, that evil little word that makes us disappointed. Without expectations we can't be disappointed and we get those expectations when we decide to plan.

Pray For Ty (Day 21)

Midterms can be a hectic week; filled with tests, late night study sessions, and in between planning for a wonderful spring break. When tragedy hits during a time like this we all remember that life doesn't stop just because school did. Today I want to dedicate my blog to a boy named Ty Osman and to the wonderful Harding family I've gotten to call my own. Ty was driving to Dallas, my hometown, for spring break with his friends. Being a freshman in college this had to be an exciting experience for him. Frist time on his own, with some people he must love, and getting to finally experience that college spring break we've all anticipated at least once in our life. While they were traveling down I-30 the car in front of Ty's was hit. He decided to pull over and help his friends. As he was doing so he was hit by another car. Ty was care-flighted to the hospital in Longview and is now in critical condition.

What a Way to End Midterms Week (Day 19/20)

The past two days have been incredibly hectic so excuse the delay on day 19. I feel like I actually did quite well considering it was midterms week.