Clutching My Ankles (Day 136/137)

I'm going to let you in on probably the most emotional moment of my life. Get ready. It happened tonight. I was over at some friends' house, sitting around their living room, and the conversation turned real. I was asked the question, "What do you want? What's the one thing you want?" What is the one things I want?

So Far Behind!! (Day 129/130/131/132/133/134/135)

Oh my goodness I'm so far behind. Everything has been so hectic and I've pushed my writing to the back. Blessing 129 was from last Wednesday and I honestly can't remember what it was!! The same for Thursday as well! I'm not going to let that discourage me though. I'm sticking with this.

129: I'll say church because I always love Wednesday night church. Our lesson series right now is on the four cardinal virtues: justice, wisdom, moral courage, and self control. Wonderful information.

Without (Day 125/126/127/128)

Ok I'm really tired so I'm not going to write much. Yesterday, a few friends and I started a three day fast for a newborn having open-heart surgery. Never in my life have I gone a day without food. I love food and all my friends know I sure can eat. My metabolism is a quick one so when it got to lunch of day one my stomach was crying. And by dinner the hunger pains felt like they were spreading throughout my entire body. Top it off with a bad and long day at work and I wanted to quit. I just wanted to regain strength and the easiest way to do that is to eat.

Expression (Day 124)

I know I've been saying that I've been struggling with my internship but I've been changing my mind about that. I went to lunch with another employee who told me that I was really important to the company. We had started getting very busy and the other designers were starting to really rely on me to help get projects done.

Compliment Topper (Day 123)

I received a compliment today that was literally better than any I've ever received before and it was in a handwritten letter which makes it ten times better! All the other compliments wrapped into one cannot compare to this one. Being told I'm smart, talented, pretty, nice, are all great but this one was by far the one that tops all other compliments.

What We Don't Think About (Day 122)

You know those days that aren't really all that good but you know you should be thankful for all the things you have? Ya, I'm having one of those days. So today I'm adding this picture that gives thanks for those things we normally forget about and the things we don't see as blessings.

Time Keeps Ticking On (Day 118/119/120/121)

Saturday: What a wonderful day. I woke up early and headed over to Arkansas to see a close friend get married. It was unlike any wedding I'd ever been to. Instead of having music playing in the background, they had the audience sing hymns. We got to bless them as they became man and wife through those hymns. It was also very encouraging that the whole procession was focused on God in their relationship. I really can't wait to see their life start together and to see their family grow. God will bless them tremendously.

Real (Day 117)

Not that my evening with my aunt tonight wasn't enjoyable but I really want to talk about something else that happened to me last night. Because it involves others, I can't go into much details, but it's not really necessary. So last night was the first night of exchange. Exchange is a time where a group of people who are doing seven weeks of study come together to be real. And let me tell you, people were real.

Encouragement (Day 114/115/116)

Tuesday: People on here know how I've been down about my internship. Well, on Tuesday I was talking to another employee who used to be an intern for the company and she started talking about all the things she had to do while interning. I told her my latest task of untangling wires and how I was afraid it was because my boss didn't see me as a talented designer. She laughed and told me that was just being an intern. What she didn't know was that those few words meant so much to me. It wasn't because I couldn't design. It was just the way of life. Not that I really want life to be like this, but it's much better than not being trusted with actual work. It made it easier to do the tasks given to me after that.

Grunt (Day 113)

So that internship. You know the one. The one that I was so excited about. Well it hasn't been as exciting as I thought. I've been given a lot of what I like to call grunt work. Today I walked in and was rewarded with the task of going down to the sixth floor storage closet and untangling around forty wires. When I got down there I sat on the floor and immediately text my three closest here in Tulsa asking for prayers.

My Summer Word (Day 112)

Vulnerability. It's something I don't do. I'm much better at turning off my emotions. I can put on an "I don't care face" and just walk away. I've become increasingly better at this the more times I've been hurt. No one except a few close friends know when I'm hurting. Hurting/pain is weakness and that is not acceptable to me.

So how come I feel like the only way to survive right now is to be vulnerable? Today started the first day of Seven. Seven is a seven week devotional series the college group puts on every summer. This year is about really getting out of our comfort zones and sharing the Word. So you can see why I wasn't up for it. If I put myself out there, let myself be vulnerable, then I could be rejected and I'm not ok with that. I'll admit that my heart was hard when I walked in those doors tonight. I was not into anything Dave was saying. I was so turned off I wanted to walk out. But I didn't, mostly out of fear of what others would say.

Unconditional Love? (Day 109/110/111)

I really want to focus on today, Saturday's, blessing so the others I'm going to just highlight on.

Thursday: I was asked to take on the challenge of designing for Africa International Missions. Of course I took it. It's designing and helping people, and I'm doing it pro bono to give God thanks for giving me such talent. Then my friend/now coworker informed me this would be going out to a few million people... Oh boy. That's a big more than I was expecting and because of that I was very honored to be asked to design for them. God is good.