I Dedicate This To.. (Day 408)

Excuse the absence again my dear friends. Spring break was a time for me to disconnect from the world for a bit. Who knows, this may be my last year to ever have one so I wanted to cherish the time off. It was much needed and it helped me think through some parts of my life.

I came home after my five days off and I was in a slump. There were many factors that caused it but the main reason was just not being able to understand why I am where I am. So today I decided to try something new at work. I decided to dedicate that day of working to someone. That way when it came time to do a task I wasn't looking forward to, I could remind myself I was doing this for them instead of myself. I'm not sure if you tick the same way as I do, but I am able to work much harder and with a better attitude if I know I'm working for another person. I enjoy serving people whom I care about.

Always, Always, Always (Day 399)

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. That is something I've learned over the years. Even if you have to force yourself to be thankful, it must be done.

I found myself once again crying this morning. I threw the sheets over my head, curled up into a ball, and wept. I have no shame saying that. The Bible said multiple times that Jesus wept. We are allowed to cry, I am allow to cry. My crying is never just mindless tears, they turn into prayers. Prayers for help, prayers of refuge, prayers of protection, relief, healing. Sometimes when I cry I actually figure out the real reason I'm hurting. I can blame it on many things but when I finally let my true emotions of pain come out in their purest form, when I stop trying to hold it together, I sense the real reason behind the sadness.

It's Just Pizza (Day 397)

I've learned something in the restaurant business. The saying "you are human so you are allowed to make mistakes" does not apply. People don't allow mess ups when it comes to their food. You'd think they'd just heard their whole family and home was wiped away in a tornado when you bring them the wrong item. Oh, but wait, they're getting that worked up because of pizza. For heaven's sake, it's just pizza.

You (Day 395)

Short and sweet post tonight. I'm hoping to actually get up and swim in the morning so I need to be in bed in eight minutes... Let's see if that can actually happen.

Cherry Topper (Day 394)

I was almost pushed to my breaking point today and since I know for a fact I am a strong woman, my breaking point is hard to find. I've kept myself working at the restaurant through all of my struggles with my pride. I've gotten up and gone into work everyday. I've put a smile on my face, dealt with rude and selfish customers. I've worked through long hours where I wasn't allowed to sit down, take breaks, and on occasion not use the bathroom. But today put the cherry on top.

You Have Me (Day 393)

I finally had an afternoon to myself. I was lucky to find the restaurant mostly empty so my manager let me decide when I wanted to leave. I was out the door by 2:00. Coaching didn't start until 5:00 today so I was mulling over what I should do. There was clean my apartment since it's been neglected for almost three weeks now, read a book, go to the grocery store, and most likely more that I can't think of. And what did I decide to do... none of them. I instead got lost.

My Own March Madness (Day 382-392)

Where did March go? We are practically halfway through it and this is my first post. My excuse is March has been my busiest month of the year so far, and if you saw how busy February was then you might have trouble believing me.